Me and Starbucks - not a good combo

Work found me in the burbs of Denver recently, which meant that my coffee choices were confined to Starbucks. You know, McCoffee. No roasted dates on their packages, because their methods are such that all the rules about coffee roasting and consumption just don't apply to them. Bullshit.

Anyway - the conversation with the Barista went something like this...

Barista: Good morning! (Happy Smile). What can I get you?

Me: Good morning. I'd like whatever you call a Depth Charge.

Barista: What's a Depth Charge?

Me: You know, its a shot of espresso in a cup of coffee.

Barista: Oh, that's a red eye.

Me: OK, that's what I will have. Of course, in Austin Texas once I heard it referred to as a Hemingway.

Barista: A Hemingway???

Me: Yeah, I don't get that one either.

A minute passes and my drink is ready.

Barista says "One Depth Charge"

Me: I grab it and say "thanks".

In line with expectations, it tastes nothing like brose makes when he is working at CRC. Maybe when Copper Door Coffee Roaster goes huge I'll have a choice in the burbs of Denver.

At this moment I feel compelled to text Kay:

me: I am at Starbucks, trying not be an asshole.

Kay (first time she used text messaging on her new phone): good luck with that