Saturday, January 17, 2009

Julie's Birthday

My sister turned 40-something yesterday. I was late with the card, so I said to hell with it and just called her. We talked for a minute about "Julio's" dual life, of sorts. That being, Julio before-kids and Julio after-kids.

If I were to keep score, it would look like this....

Julio - Before Kids:
- Intravenous bottle of vodka at Marquette Univ dorm room, stocked at all times with cheap vodka.

- Weekly trips to Miller Brewery for a "Brewery Tour", followed by a run through the tasting room, where the coeds (and most visitors) aren't limited in the amount of free High Life they can have. Top off the evening with a Singapore Sling at the revolving roof-top lounge at the Hyatt. Buy one and sip it for two hours, unless some Milwaukee WASP treats Julio and her coed pals (including MoTown Paula) to another.

- After college at a MN Twins game, Julio is teasing some kid sitting in front of us. It escalates to the point where Julio opens her mouth to show off a mouthful of half-chewed nachos to the kid. The kid responds by doing the same... and gets busted by his parent... who swats the kid. What does Julio do in response? She laughs out loud.

Julio - After Kids:
- House stocked at all times with fine wine and liquor. Julio and Husband "S" are generous and welcome us to share!

- Swanky McMansion in the suburbs, added a SWEET pool a couple years ago. I believe that we are welcome over anytime, provided that (1) I don't cuss in front of her kids and (2) I stop teaching them how to shoot the moon.

- After a few visits, Julio repeatedly tells her kids, A & B, that "Uncle Jim might be funny, but he is not always right"

Happy Birthday Julio!


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